


The Rebel

by Kharina



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12196641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kharina/pseuds/Kharina
Summary: 'My name is Aftran 942. I am an alien, a Yeerk. And I am about to die. The only uncertainty is how.' Aftran 942 waits to learn her fate at the end of number 29. When she is offered a nothlit form, she chooses a different animal than in the book. How will her choice affect the rest of the series and the outcome of the war? Obviously AU. Rated for language and later violence.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs and don't make any money from this... all the usual stuff.
> 
> Author's Note: I also have this fic published on fanfiction.net, so some readers may have seen it before there, but I figured I would post it here as well. I am very very variable at updating, so be warned! That said, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, the thought speech brackets don't work, so I have used normal brackets ( and ) to denote thought speech.

My name is Aftran Nine-Four-Two of the Hett Simplatt pool. I am an alien, a Yeerk. And I am about to die. 

The only uncertainty is how it will happen. The human Cassie is currently deciding, along with her fellow Animorphs, whether they will kill me quickly, at my request, or whether I will be fated to wait for another two days until my body starves to death from lack of Kandrona rays. It is the most painful death we Yeerks know. I do not have much hope. Cassie hates killing, even for the best of reasons. To kill a friend, even to save her pain, will be even worse. In a way, I cannot blame her. I cannot stand violence either. I do not envy her this decision. Perhaps I should not have asked, but I could not help it. Maybe I am a coward, but I could not help but take a chance, however slight, of gaining myself a slightly less painful death.

When I told her, she tried, with typical human determination, to think of a way out. She offered to let me stay in her, to take me to the Yeerk pool herself. An unacceptable risk, as she really already knew. There is no way out. Perhaps, if they take their decision quickly enough, I can see my mate Illim before I die. Cassie did promise to let me infest her again before the end to let me know their decision, so at least I will see colour one last time. 

My thoughts are interrupted as the touch sensors along my body detect a vibration in the water. I aim my echo-location upwards to detect the shape of an ear above me. Cassie’s ear. This is it, then. Slowly, I swim upwards to learn my fate.

I secrete the usual numbing chemicals and slither into her ear, probably for the last time. I am glad of the distraction of infestation: I no longer have time to think as I struggle to wiggle through the tight ear canal and carefully rearrange the small bones of her middle ear to make way for me. Eventually, I sense the pulses of electricity ahead and, with trepidation, begin to make the first connections to her brain. I know I will know my fate before I fully connect to the brain and am able to speak to Cassie’s consciousness.

The first thing I notice is that Cassie’s mind does not seem particularly distressed. As I move further into her mind, the memory of her recent discussion with the other Animorphs opens up for me: she is clearly holding it at the top of her mind, and I have no need to search for it. Nervously, I begin to play it.

“We can’t let her die,” Cassie’s voice says in her memory. I can see the other Animorphs and Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill arranged around her. They look ill to varying degrees after their experience. Marco is lying on the hay bales, looking pale; Jake sits in a chair, a bowl strategically placed not far away, and Tobias is perched close to Rachel, resting his hawk head against her arm. Aximili is lying down; the first time I have ever seen an Andalite doing so.

“It doesn’t sound like we have another choice, Cassie,” Rachel said gently.

“No,” Marco agreed. “She’s right, staying in you is far too risky. You’d get caught eventually. It’s just not worth it.”

“You’re talking about her life, Marco!” Cassie exclaimed angrily.

“And she agrees that it isn’t worth losing the war for!” Marco shot back.

(Let’s not argue,) Tobias said. 

“I don’t know if I can kill her,” Cassie said, tears running down her face.

(I never thought I would say this about a Yeerk,) Ax interjected, looking disgusted with himself. (But she has fought bravely and not betrayed us. She deserves an honourable death. I would be willing to carry this out, if my Prince agrees.)

Cassie and Ax both looked towards Jake. He had been quiet, his brow furrowed.

“Are you feeling OK, Jake?” Cassie asked.

He nodded. “I was just thinking.”

“Quick, someone get him a card,” Marco quipped.

Cassie whirled round, opening her mouth, but Tobias beat her to it.

(I don’t think it’s really the time for jokes, Marco. We’re losing a friend today.)

“Maybe not,” Jake said.

“Jake, she can’t stay in Cassie,” Rachel pointed out.

Jake shook his head. “I know. That’s not what I was suggesting.”

(What is it, Prince Jake?) Ax asked.

“You’re not going to like this, Ax,” Jake said. “But I think we should use the blue box again.”

There was silence for a moment.

“That didn’t work out so well last time,” Marco pointed out.

“Aftran’s no David!”

“Anyway, I don’t see how it solves the Kandrona problem,” Marco added, ignoring Cassie.

“Normal morphing wouldn’t. But it would if she was a nothlit,” Jake pointed out. “And then there’d be no risk of another David. I’m saying we give her the power, she chooses a morph and stays in it for two hours while we stand guard.”

Cassie sat down, suddenly, tears flowing down her face. “Oh, Jake, thank you. Thank you.”

My sentiments are similar. I don’t need to see any more. 

(We all voted in favour of the morphing option,) Cassie says to me, sensing me disconnect from the memory. (Even Ax, in the end. Something about saving a life deserving an equal return. Like that, anyway.)

I remain silent for a while, unable to speak. It’s all too much… not only life, but a life with mobility and hearing and eyes… my own eyes, without a host crying for their freedom. I had never imagined I could feel so much joy and relief at once, but now I do.

(Aftran?)

(Thank you, Cassie,) I manage to say through the emotions flooding my mind. (Thank you so much.)

(All you need to do now is choose your morph,) she replies. (Maybe you’d better stay in me for now: you can look at the memories of my morphs, and what I know about animals?)

I take her suggestion, and begin to search through the memories of Cassie’s morphs. As I look at the memory of her osprey morph, I feel expectation rise within her. It’s true: I loved that morph, the one time I tried it. The eyesight and freedom of flying were superb. Nevertheless, the lifespan is short, and the ability to communicate with other sentient beings limited to thought speech. I move on, looking at the wolf, the horse, the humpback whale, the Hork-Bajir. I linger for a little on the last one. I have been a Hork-Bajir. They are strong, they can manipulate objects, they have decent eyesight, and most of all they can communicate.

(You’d need permission,) Cassie says uncertainly. 

(From more than one Hork-Bajir, if I can get it,) I agree. (I want my own identity: I do not want to be a clone of someone else.) 

(I could try and find out if they would, but-)

Cassie needs say no more. I can understand her doubts from her thoughts: she doesn’t know if I will get permission. Toby the Seer is a possibility, but she doesn’t know if the other Hork-Bajir will understand the situation well enough to give DNA to a Yeerk. Especially after some of the things that have happened to them at the hands of the Yeerk Empire. I disagree: I think they might, but it would be a long wait while the Animorphs found time to travel to the valley, explain and ask. I would be in a lot of pain from the lack of Kandrona by then. 

I hesitate. I want a sentient species, really. Non-sentient morphs are all well and good for a short time, to enjoy their senses or their unique view of the world, but to become a nothlit as one by choice… no. It means you are alone. Oh, you can talk to others by thought-speak, but there is no other sentient being who truly understands your perspective of the world. You have no way of communicating naturally, other than by thought-speak, with another sentient being. They do not understand the body language or the natural communications of your species, and you may well find it harder to interpret theirs. But then, Hork-Bajir gestures were not easily understood by humans, and I wanted to be able to communicate with my human as well as Yeerk friends. Also, I do not want to get involved in violence again. I already transitioned to a human to escape physical violence once…

Hang on, that was it! My joy is short-lived, though. Is it even going to be possible?

(Have you decided, Aftran?) Cassie must have felt my sudden certainty.

(Yes,) I reply. (Human, if possible. And it needs to be more than just your DNA,) I add quickly, in response to her thoughts.

(I hadn’t expected that.)

(I know. Not sure how, it’s not like I see everything that you think or anything...)

She laughs.

(Will anyone else agree?) I ask, becoming serious. 

(I’m sure at least one will. Jake, at the least,) Cassie says.

(Let’s hope Marco or Rachel do, as well. Otherwise I bet you a dollar the first words out of Marco’s mouth once I morph are: ‘so that’s what your future kids will look like, Jake’.)

Cassie laughs again. (I don’t think I want to take that bet.)

(Speaking of, did you and Jake ever finally admit that you like each-) I break off, seeing a memory rise unbidden to Cassie’s mind.

(You kissed!) I exclaim teasingly. The sudden relief is making me giddy, and I want to laugh.

(Aftran, I need to ask the others-)

(Oh, don’t begrudge me this; it’s my last chance to look at a host’s memories and tease them mercilessly about them. Have you kissed again? Oh yes, there we go. Oh, actually I’m not sure I want to watch any more of that. Humans really are disgusting creatures.)

(Aftran, stop it!) I feel my host’s emotions change from amusement to a more serious embarrassment, so I disconnect myself from her memories. 

(Sorry. I promise not to tell Marco.)

(Don’t you DARE.) Cassie is smiling mentally now though. (I’ll never live it down. Are you going to let me go and ask them now?)

(That’s probably a good idea. Should I leave you?)

Cassie thinks for a moment. (I don’t think that’s necessary. Just let me do the talking at first, just to say that you’re in me. Then I’ll let you explain.)  
(Good idea. I’ll explain how you are completely in love with Ja-)

(SHUT. UP.)

(Okay. I’ll be serious. I promise.)

(I’ve never seen you quite like this,) Cassie says curiously.

(Yeerks aren’t Andalites. We do have senses of humour. Especially when we’ve just found out we’re not about to die after all.)


	2. Chapter 2

The others looked a little surprised when they heard that I was in Cassie still, and Ax sneered. However, they listened when I began to talk.

“I want to say thank you to you all. Thank you so much,” I said. “You’ve saved my life.” 

“It’s what we Animorphs do best,” Marco said, with an uncomfortable grin.

“Have you chosen a morph?” Jake asked.

I hesitated for a moment, choosing my next words carefully. “Yes. But I don’t know if it will be possible.”

“We’ve acquired some pretty impossible morphs,” Rachel said.

(Harder for some of us than others,) Tobias added. (I’m sure we can do it.)

“It isn’t a practical problem as such,” I admitted. “You see, I would like, if I can, to morph a human.”

I allowed a couple of seconds for that to sink in. “Cassie has already offered me her DNA. But obviously I don’t want to be a clone of her, so I was wondering if I could use some of your DNA. And, you know, do what Ax does for his human morph.”

Jake nodded. “You can have mine.”

“Rachel, don’t volunteer,” Marco said quickly. “Then we can see what their future kids will look like.”

“Cassie would like me to repeat a thought for her. It is ‘ha, ha’,” I said sarcastically. “And also I just won a dollar. And thank you, Jake, that’s very kind.”

Rachel and Marco were quiet for a few minutes. 

“You can have mine, too,” Marco said. “Don’t use too much of it, mind. The world can only cope with so much cuteness.”

“I’ll bear that in mind.” 

“You can have mine, too,” Rachel said, after a few more seconds’ pause. 

“Don’t feel you have to,” I said quickly. “Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” she replied. 

“Thank you,” I replied sincerely, looking between her and Marco.

“There are a few practical issues though,” Jake said. “Where are you going to live, Aftran? What will you eat?”

“I… hadn’t thought of that,” I admitted. “The peace movement might be able to help provide me with food: it’s a lot less risky than Kandrona, after all, and there are enough of them with human hosts to help. Where to stay is more of a problem.”

Suddenly, Ax’s thought-speak broke loudly into my head, and judging by their expressions, the heads of the rest of the Animorphs as well. 

(NO, Tobias. I cannot. I have already spared a Yeerk and agreed to give her my people’s technology! I will NOT agree to share my living space with a filthy parasite!)

Everybody looked between Ax and Tobias.

(Well, this is awkward,) Tobias said. (I was suggesting the scoop, privately, to Ax. I thought it might be the most secure bet.)

Jake nodded. “It probably would be. The Hork-Bajir valley’s the only other option, and it’s a long way to take food there. But if Ax doesn’t want to do it, then I guess we need to look at other options.”

(Does the Yeerk have to be human?) Ax asked.

I decided to ignore the fact that he was referring to me in the third person when I was right there. It hadn’t been an easy few days for him. “I’d prefer it. If it’s possible. I could help you communicate with the peace movement, provide information. It would mean I wouldn’t be completely isolated, I could still communicate easily. But it’s up to you.”

(If my Prince orders it, then I will have to do as he commands,) Ax said, after a long pause.

Jake sighed. “Ax, I don’t want to give you an order like that. But would you be OK with it if it was only temporary? If we tried to, I don’t know; build her a separate scoop as soon as we can?” He yawned.

(I do not know, Prince Jake,) Ax replied, with a sneering, disgusted glance at me.

Jake sighed, and pressed a hand to his forehead for a brief moment. I saw Ax tilt a stalk-eye towards Tobias quizzically, as though listening. It was a long time before anyone spoke. Nervous, I tried to distract myself by focusing on the soft rustling sounds of the animals in their cages and stalls, and the shining red-brown of a nearby chestnut mare’s coat. I was not completely successful.

(What about the Chee?) Cassie thought suddenly. (They have that big dog park; you could stay there, at least temporarily. It would be more comfortable than the scoop, and Ax and you wouldn’t end up killing each other.)

I laughed inside her head, and repeated her thought back to the rest of the group. Save for the last sentence, of course. I was wary about insulting an Andalite.

(That seems like a good idea,) Tobias said. (I’ll fly over and tell them you’re coming.)

Rachel held the door open for him as he sped out of the barn towards town.

“Okay,” Jake said, turning back to me. “We’ll let you touch Cassie, me, Marco and Rachel in that order, Aftran. Remember it, so you can concentrate on the right person when you acquire them.”

“How do I perform the Frolis Manoeuvre, Aximili?” I asked hesitantly.

(I…) he hesitated for a moment. (It is quite simple. You need to imagine a human whose features can be made using a mix of the four humans you have acquired. You need to simply imagine that human and concentrate on that instead of on any of the individual humans you have acquired.)

“Thanks.” I looked intently at Jake, Marco and Rachel, memorising their features so I would be able to construct an imagined human later. 

“Ok, well that’s freaky,” Marco commented as I stared at him.

I didn’t reply, not wanting to break my concentration. When I was finished, I turned my focus inwards to Cassie.

(Well, I guess this is it,) I said. (I’ll never communicate in this way again.)

(It’s good though, right?) Cassie asked anxiously. 

(It’s better than I ever dared to hope,) I replied. (Still, it will be strange to lose my own body permanently, pathetic though it is.) It would probably also lose me my two mates, though one of them was probably lost to me already. I did not tell Cassie this, however. I could already sense guilt from her.

(It is not your fault,) I reassured her. (And as I have said, it is far better than the alternatives. My own eyes!)

I felt a wave of happiness from her, like an internal smile. (If anyone deserves them, you do. Bye for now, Aftran.)

(Goodbye,) I replied. Then I left her ear for the last time.

I felt myself being picked up by the four humans in succession. I focused on imagining their faces, and felt their hands go looser around me as I acquired them. It was a little nerve-wracking: I was worried one of them might relax enough to drop me, but thankfully that did not happen.

They placed me on the floor, and I focused on mixing the DNA of the four humans together. I wanted a female morph: both my human and Hork-Bajir hosts had all been female, so I identified with that gender more than a male. I wanted Cassie’s eyes, and combined it with Marco’s hair, but hoped it would come out somewhere between Marco and Rachel’s length. I wasn’t sure, as hair length was hardly genetic, if this was something I could control, but if not I could always grow it. I took an equal mix of all their facial features and skin tone, so my final skin tone was just slightly paler than Marco’s. Rachel and Jake were the tallest of the four, so I went for a height somewhere between the two of them, with a similar weight to Rachel. I hoped the humans remembered to look away, as a morphing outfit could only be re-morphed if you’d started off your morph wearing it, and not just morphed from nowhere. I wasn’t worried, as Yeerks of course have no concept of clothing, but I didn’t imagine the Animorphs would particularly enjoy seeing a mix of their own and others’ DNA standing naked in a barn.

Once I had decided on the human shape I wanted to assume, I began to concentrate hard, and soon I felt the changes begin.

My Yeerk body began to swell, and carried on inflating like a balloon, only well past the point where a normal balloon would have popped. Arms and legs began to grow from buds on the side of my body, but at first felt very small compared to the rest of me. I imagined they must look rather comical. My slime coat dried up, and hardened to become skin. My Yeerk body began to change shape, elongating and thinning, and forming hips, waist, chest and neck. I felt my insides changing as much more complex organs than those in a Yeerk began to form. I tried to echo-locate, to check my enlarging body would not hit anything, but the sense was gone.

And then the eyes formed. At first, the image was dim as the nerves needed to build their way to my brain, but soon I was seeing again. Shape! Texture! Colour! The beauty was, as always, overwhelming, but even more so now I knew it was mine permanently. My eyes! My eyes and no host to ruin the feeling. 

My ears, nose and mouth formed. I could soon smell the soft, earthy scent of the hay I was lying on, and hear Marco’s voice. The morph was complete.

“Ew,” Marco was saying. “Yuck. I never want to see that again.”

The humans, I noticed, had turned away, but Ax was watching me, his tail blade angled towards where I lay on the floor.

“I’m going to stand up,” I said. The words came easily, my voice thankfully sounding unique, not like any of the other Animorphs’. I had forgotten to think about my voice. 

I pushed myself carefully off the floor using the strength of my human arms, and reached quickly for a horse rug, which I wrapped around my body.

“You can look now,” I said. “I’m decent. Ish.”

The humans turned cautiously, and Rachel grinned at the sight of me wrapped in a horse rug. “I don’t think that’s going to be making it into Vogue any time soon,” she laughed. 

“There should be some clothes in- well, you know where they would be,” Cassie said.

“Watch carefully, everyone,” Rachel teased. “This is the one time in the world where Cassie’s fashion sense will actually be an improvement.”

I went and changed into the riding clothes Cassie kept in the barn’s tack room. On the way back, curious, I peered into the water trough to look at my reflection. Unnecessary, of course, as I had imagined the morph myself. But I still felt it was something I had to do. Cassie’s dark eyes looked back at me, surrounded by a familiar-yet-unfamiliar face. I realised it would take me a while to adjust to the fact that this was now my own true body.

“You OK, Aftran?”  
I heard Cassie’s voice and snapped out of my reverie. “Coming,” I replied.

“She can’t walk down the street like that,” Rachel pointed out as soon as I reappeared. “And she has to go to the Chee.”

“I’ll get her some normal clothes before the two hours are up,” Cassie promised.

“Since when do you own normal clothes?” Rachel teased.

“Shut up. How are you feeling, Aftran?”

“Good,” I replied. “A little strange, but good. Thank you so much.”

“It’s the least you deserve,” Cassie answered.

(I disagree. It’s the most you deserve, Yeerk, and you should be grateful.)

“Ax!” Cassie exclaimed angrily. 

“I am grateful, Aximili,” I said quickly. “And it’s OK, Cassie. Ax has been very kind to allow this at all. I’m guessing it would be contravening about five Andalite laws. Although I would prefer it if you didn’t call me ‘Yeerk’.”

Ax was silent for a few moments. Then he asked: (May I return to my scoop now, Prince Jake?)

Jake nodded. “Sure, Ax. Actually, we’re all still pretty sick. Maybe we should all go and get some rest. Cassie, make sure Aftran stays in this morph for two hours, and take her to the Chee. Marco and Rachel, go and get some rest.”

The next two hours passed uneventfully, as I helped Cassie with her chores in the barn, prepared to jump into an old rug box if her parents came towards the barn. Just before my time was up, Tobias returned to confirm that the Chee were prepared to take me. Ten minutes later, my decision became irreversible.

“I’ll go up to the house and get you some other clothes,” Cassie said.

It took a long time to get to the Chee, as I of course could not fly. We had to take a couple of different buses, and walk for a while either end of that. As we were walking the final stretch, I said: “Can you make sure Illim knows that I’m alive? As soon as you can at school tomorrow? And can you ask him to come to the Chee house as soon as he can?”

“I- I don’t know if the Chee will want too many people to know about them.”

“It won’t be many. Just Illim,” I promised. “Then we can work out a way for me to meet with the rest of the peace movement. We generally use our host’s homes if we have to meet hosted or outside the Yeerk pool. I’m sure we can work something out.”

Cassie nodded. “I’ll definitely tell him you’re alive. I’ll check with the Chee when we get there if I can tell him to come here.”

We had reached the door to Erek King’s house, and it opened before Cassie could knock. Erek stood in the doorway.

“Come in,” he said.

Once the door was shut, he turned to smile at me. Or at least, his hologram did. I didn’t return the grin. I was too busy staring at his forehead. I knew what rested inside his android skull, and what he had done sickened me. It was even worse to finally stand face-to-face with him and do nothing. There was nothing I could do, though, and I needed somewhere to stay. I would almost rather have stayed with the Andalite.

“Hello, Aftran,” he said. “Follow me.”

He took me through to the Chee’s underground base, where I saw a meal was waiting for me beneath one of the trees. A few dogs sat around hopefully, too well-trained to touch the food.

“Welcome, Aftran Nine-Four-Two,” said a Chee I did not know, with a hologram of a middle-aged lady. “We hope you will be comfortable here.”

“I’d better go,” Cassie said. “I’ll tell Illim. Erek, is it okay if one member of the peace movement comes here, as long as he doesn’t tell any of the others?”

Erek nodded. “I suppose so. The six of you are already a security risk; two more beings won’t make much of a difference.”

Cassie nodded, and turned to me. “I guess this is goodbye for now,” she said. “Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded. “I think so. I’ll have to be.”


End file.
